Of All the Things: A Ghazal Poem | By: Alexandra P. Elicano

[TRIGGER WARNING: This entire article focuses on the theme of loss which may be triggering to some readers.]

For my sister

Red lipstick stains, dark chocolates, trips to beaches, I remember

Of all the things, good and bad, through strength and weakness, I remember

Three a.m., a ringing phone, awakened by a bolt from the blue 

An unending storm brewing at home, breaking silences, I remember

An empty room, creaseless sheets, I drag my feet towards the doorway

I stopped. Midway. Seeking solace in those spaces, I remember

Days to weeks, months to years, the evanescing had already begun

I refused to run. “Tricks of time suppress! — I want to remember.”

Only a piece remains from the puzzle, my least favorite one

One I try the hardest to forget, nonetheless I still remember.

“Please make the clock run backwards” — I begged. I hoped. I wished.

Untold ‘what ifs’ and all the missed chances. It pains me to remember.

Forward. Backward. Repeat. A long, precarious game against reality

The winner only to be determined by fickleness, I remember

Five years. Three months. Ten days. I almost lost count of what felt like forever. 

“But what longing ends so simply with no scars, no stitches?” I remember

At last, standing in the doorway, I pushed past the hardest door to open.

Jeanine, her name, of all the things, I will always remember.